October 9, 2011

We are in the third day of our opening of school year retreat. It began on Friday at ten o’clock. The retreat is directed primarily at the nine postulants who will be here this year in their second year of philosophy but since the seven going to Brazil when their visas come through are also here in the house, they too were invited to be part of the retreat if they wanted to. The pattern I’ve chosen is to give a conference and then have the men spend 45 minutes in reflective silence, talking to God about what was said and listening to what God has to say on the subject. After that they have a half hour to share their reflections in a small group of three. That is followed by a roundup of all the groups, sharing what they heard and making comments. It seems to be going well. There is overall silence in the house and even silence at meals which they are not used to, so we have music playing softly during meals – usually hymns sung by monks or choirs. It’s restful. I had two conferences on Friday focusing on God’s love for us. I gave them Isaiah 43:1-4 to reflect on after the first conference. Francis de Sales is “the Apostle of God’s Love” (my phrase) since he spoke so often and wrote so beautifully about God’s love. I felt it important that they pray about God’s personal love for them and what that really means. It’s easy to say, “God love you!” or “God loves you…” but faced sometimes with our selfishness, our often mean-spirited words and actions, in a word, our sinfulness, we can’t help but ask, “Does God really love me?” Now the answer to that question is “Yes.”, but if you’ve heard most of your life that you’re a loser or no good, or stupid, plus you’ve been rejected by people who you thought loved you, well, believing in God’s love is next to impossible. All of this takes place within us and we very rarely share these thoughts with anyone – who would listen? So there is in my heart this underlying sense that, this talk of God’s love is fine for others but not for me. My point being that even if I’m not a loser in the eyes of most, nor a bad person, still, knowing myself and my shortcomings, I may find it hard to believe and accept God’s personal love for me. Thus the need to turn to the Scriptures and to our patron St. Francis de Sales for words that will reassure us of this reality.

I then moved into the call to holiness, the “universal call to holiness” spoken of in Vatican II but long before that by Francis himself when he wrote his Introduction to a Devout Life, a spiritual classic still read today my millions of people all over the world. We’re all called to live in God’s love and to share that love with others and to have a spiritual life, whether we are a teacher, a nurse, a lawyer, a cop, a priest or a prisoner, a mom, a dad, a bishop or whatever. If Francis de Sales wanted to get that message out, I feel he wants me to make sure the future Haitian Oblates I’m working with have a firm grasp of it. So not just doing things in a spirit of love but doing them enthusiastically, and with verve. That’s “devotion”!

I also spent some time having the guys pray about the gift or talent they received from God. We all are given a gift(s) says St. Paul (Eph. 4:7). Then in the group I asked them to name it. A gift has to owned by the person to whom it was given. Our gifts have to be acknowledged by the community and used to build of the Body of Christ. And finally our gifts have to be “celebrated”. When we acknowledge the gift we acknowledge the Giver of the gift, namely God. So in a second session I had them name what they saw as gift in their confreres. We went around one by one and the person hearing what others thought his gift was had to simply remain silent and take in what he was hearing. I believe we all have gifts that we don’t even recognize or maybe name as gift ourselves.

My last conference was on a healthy love of self. Francis de Sales was known for his gentleness but by nature he had a real temper. He spent his life working against his natural tendency to simply let loose and let his temper fly. St. Jane, a not always a gentle person herself, once told Francis that he was too gentle. “What do you want me to do,” he answered, “lose in fifteen minutes of wild anger or rage the gentle house of interior peace I’ve been building for the last 18 years?” So this “gentleness” (the French is “douceur”) did not come easily. It had to be worked at. Same for us, I told them and for building up any virtues. It takes repeated acts. And when we find we’ve “blown it” as they say, we must be gentle with ourselves, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start again. Sometimes we’re mad at ourselves because we see we are not perfect. I told the men what I read in “The Cloud of Unknowing”, that “From these effects of original sin we will never be entirely free in this life, no matter how holy we become.” So it’s try, try again with whatever good habits we’re trying to develop.

We ended with a Holy Hour. It was a little hard on my knees but I think it was prayerful. Right now I’m exhausted. We had recreation and tomorrow classes begin which means we get up at 5:00 am. “Yes, Virginia, there is a 5:00 am.”

My best to all with prayers and good wishes. Tom